What do you call a Barry Bird whos had 3 abortions?

Crime prevention officer.

What do you call a Barry Boy in a suit?

The defendant.

A Barry Bird has 6 kids, all called Tyrone. When shes asked why she says, so when I call them for their tea, I only have to shout once. What if you want a certain one only? she is asked. "Then I use his surname" she says.

> How many men does it take to open a beer?
> None. It should be opened when she brings it.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
> Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
probably
never be able
> to support you.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------

> Why do women have smaller feet than men?
> It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
> them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
> When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> How do you fix a woman's watch?
> You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Why do men fart more than women?
> Because women can't shut up long enough to
> build up the required pressure.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
the
front door,
> who do you let in first?
> The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
> A woman who won't do what she's told.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> I married a Miss Right.
> I just didn't know her first name was Always.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
> a woman's sex drive by 90%.
> It's called a Wedding Cake.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Why do men die before their wives?
> They want to.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Women will never be equal to men until they can
> walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
> gut, and still think they are sexy.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
> Then God created Man and rested.
> Then God created Woman.
> Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.


Cool things to say at parties to impress the chicks


If someone tells a lot of lies:-

"He tells so many lies, if he told me he was lying I wouldnt believe him".

If you break wind:-

"Better an empty house than a bad lodger".

Try these:-

"I wouldnt see you go without, Id close my eyes"

"I'll see you alright, when I gets my glasses".


;

GEE DEPP,

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU WERE OVERFLOWING WITH SOOO MUCH CHIVALRY!

ESPECIALLY SINCE YOUR COUNTRY IS GOVERNED BY A WOMAN!

WE...HERE IN THE UNITED STATES, CHERISH OUR WOMEN... SHOW THEM THE UTMOST REPECT AND CONSIDER THEM A NATIONAL TREASURE.

TROY

HEY DEPP,

I DON'T WANT TO SHOW ANY DISRESPCT AND HAVE A PISSING CONTEST HERE IN THE FORUM.

YOU CAN CONTACT ME VIA EMAIL IF YOU WANT.

TROY