'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.

He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.

Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks. I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,

Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?

The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.

The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.

Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.

And just when I thought that things would get better

Those [Censored]s from the IRS sent me a letter,

They say I owe taxes--if that ain't funny

Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits

They want the impossible--Those mean little shits

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds

Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads

I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,

They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees

Fa lling down chimneys and skinning my knees

I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment

I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,

I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season!!!



[Edited on 12-11-2006 by skynyrdmh]

funny!!!! where did you find this?

tara

it was sent to me from a friend. To funny not to share.

had to share this from the Y&T board: if you are familiar with the song, it's REALLY funny, but funny either way...the moderator over there (Rowdy J) comes up with this stuff!

this one is set to "Open Fire"

OPEN PRESENTS
(J.Kehr, D.Meniketti, P.Kennemore, J.Alves, L.Haze)
(c) 2006 Rowdy n' Ready Music (BMI)


So far somehow I’ve managed to keep control
It’s time to get all them gifts wrapped up
Wrap ‘em all up for the right time to let them go, go, go
Fair Warnin’ be ready
I think it’s gonna snow.

All year long getting primed for what we do
And when I wrap it up
Gonna leave it under there for you
Have me some fun
Gonna use double-sticky tape
Now you know – you can’t peek
I’m crackin’ up…

Chorus:

Open presents on Christmas Day
Gonna Open Presents
Paper all over this place
Open presents
In a Rippin’ Rage
I’m gonna Open Presents

Lights come on
You know it’s gettin’ around that time
Getting’ real impatient
Our shopping is way behind
Like a short fuse on a stick of dynamite
Full blast, there’s gonna be a fight
End up in jail tonight, post bail alright
With all my might

CHORUS

Wrap them up
Light our house
Gonna wrap up the crap

So far somehow I’ve managed to keep control
It’s time to get them gifts wrapped up
Wrap ‘em all up for the right time to let them go, go, go
Be ready
I think it’s gonna snow

CHORUS